hey blog. It's been a while hasn't it.

okay, so quite a whole load of things happened since i last updated.

my maid's left.
she went back home already.
my family took some time to recover from it.
i'm still staggering to do stuff on my own.
even my mom was crying on the 1st day my maid left. No question i did likewise as well. But what can i do. It's quite hard not to be emotionally attached to someone who has been there for five years, doing everything for you, and now you're left stranded.
alone.

lost.

sigh. But i suppose i can manage. Though it's quite difficult coping with life now, especially with promo exams looming around the corner, and revision still incomplete.

anyway, my hp isn't workin. I tried borrowing my father's, but it too had it's own share of problems. Tried my mom's, and it too isn't functioning very well. To think that things could not possibly get any worse. Now i'm stuck in my room, blogging while my phone is fiercely rebelling against being switched on. My father has already hobbled off to work, leaving me stranded with my mom's phone( which isn't helping very much considering none of my contacts turned up in her phone even though my SIM card is already in it.)

okay so that's two of the things on my unbelievably-bad-situation list.

the third one is promo exams.
i was considering to retain in year 1, since i don't find the significance in advancing to year 2 without knowing what's going on, considering my weak foundation.
but, if it be that way i won't get to be with my friends(assuming they all move on to year 2, which is of course what i pray for them)

sigh.

i feel like quitting.
QUITTING.

from all this blabbering nonsense.
to just lead life simple and peaceful, easy-going.
to be able to smell flowers without being allergic and sneezy.( not that i am allergic.)
to lead a meaningful stress-free life(which would mean a cleaner non-pimple-invaded face)
to be able to laugh with friends everyday.
to go home and reside in the comfort of my home and cuddle in the arms of my family.
to be able to feel secure.
to feel safe.
to feel
jus not what i'm feeling right now.

lost.
stressed.
fucked up.(pardon my language, cuz i've only barely used vulgarities around 15 times in my life.)
relentlessly helpless.
pained in the mouth(due to my ulcer)
flu-stricken
dumb
hopeless.

But i know i must push on, and that's that.

The harder the battle the sweeter the victory.

God give me strength.
cuz i'll need it.

badly.


ps: and i still have yet to link all those other peeps.